ring…ring…ring…ring…ring
I hung up. This was the fifth time I tried calling her with no response. I take a look at the snowing falling on the cold October night. I look at the clock and decide to go see her. I missed her. I grab my coat along with my keys. I glance at my wallet deciding to bring it incase she wanted to go out. I slide on my shoes and a hoodie along with the coat and head down the hall to the kitchen.
“Mom, I’m heading over to Lisa’s.”
“Ok sweetie. Don’t be out to late and if you’re sleeping over call me.”
She hands me the keys and I’m out the door. I’m walk through the snow trying my best not to slip and fall. Once in the car i turn on the heat and head to Lisa’s; singing to our favorite song. Just as the song finishes I smell smoke. That’s when I notice the smoke is coming from Lisa’s block.
My heart stop for a minute as I drive down the street. A burst of flames comes from the house. It takes me a second to realize it was Lisa’s house on fire. In less then a minute I’m out the door and running to the front door. It’s only when an officer stops me that I see the cop cars and fire trucks.
“Sir, I can’t let you go any further.” The officer looks at me seriously.
“That’s my girlfriend’s house! You have to let me through!”
“Sir, no one is dead. Please calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! That’s my fucking girlfriend’s house!”
I see Lisa’s parents and look around for her. Flames leaked through the front window of your bedroom. Paramedics rush out of the house with a stretcher. I push paste the officer and run to the stretcher.
“Lisa!”
Her parents are crying and i can feel the panic rising in me. I take Lisa’s hand and kiss it.
“Lisa, Baby, everything is going to be ok. Don’t leave me now. Please I’m not ready for that. Please Lisa don’t go.”
My hands are shaking and she opens her eyes and looks at me. She smiles at me.
“Alex, don’t wait for me.”
I stare into her her eyes as the paramedics started working then her hand got weak and her eyes closed.
“Lisa! Baby please open your eyes! Please!”
Her moms sobs get louder and i can feel the tears slide down my cheeks as the paramedics try their best to bring her back but i knew those were the last words she would ever say to me. I curse loudly. The paramedics give up.
“We did all we could. She’s dead.” The paramedic says the sadness so apparent in hi voice.
“Baby please open your eyes.” My voice cracks and I move her hair from her face. I lean down kissing. Her skin was so cold.
“Lisa please! I love you. Lisa come back!” I’m sobbing now. I only know this cause my whole body is shaking. I feel hand on my body pulling me away forcing me to let go of her limp body and it seems like everything is moving slow motion.
“NO!” I didn’t realize the scream came from me.
The person sits me in a police car and takes my keys. Some one drive my car to my house following the car I’m in. The pair of hands lends me into the house where my mother is standing the doorway crying. The hands pass me to my mother who leads me upstairs. I go into my room and strip down and crawl into bed.
I wish this day would’ve never happened.
————
The next few days passed in a blur. I stay in bed with my mother stopping in trying to get me to eat but I can’t. I close me eyes and I still feel Lisa’s arms around me. Her soft kisses on my skin that made me fly. The beating of her heart in tune with mine. I can still hear the soft words she would say to me that made me love her so much.
The day of the funeral I get up and slide a pair for my black skinnies and a black button up shirt. I reach over to grab my cell phone and try not to look at the little black box next to it. I was going to purpose. Lisa was all I ever dreamed of in a girl and now she’s gone. I flinch at the word gone.
The ride there is silent. The funeral seems to pass in blur like the past few days the only time it slows is when I’m standing looking at Lisa’s body. She was beautiful in life and in death. My fingers ghost over her cold cheek and then I walk away. Her parents hug me.
After the funeral my parents take me out to eat. I order a soda.
“You don’t have to go to school tomorrow if you don’t want to.” My mom says as she rest her hand on top of mine. My eyes look up at my parents.
My parents have never been the same since Daniel died. Daniel was my older brother. A year ago me and him got in a fight and he left the house. A couple days later a police officer showed up up. I remember running down the stairs hoping it was Daniel. I wanted to say sorry. I remember hearing mom sobbing in Dad’s chest. Daniel had committed suicide.
leave me alone then. i hate you
